To Whatever It Was...

To whatever it was that was attacking me last night on the way to college track: thanks for making me look like some jittery psycho. I'm sure someone saw me swatting futilely at some invisible bat.

I didn't know pissed-off nocturnal insects even existed. It's like you were an angry bee but all ninja-like. If I came too close to your hive or whatever ninja bees live in, I'm only half sorry. You should have evolved some way to let folks know where you live so we don't fuck up your house. Darting at peoples' heads at night seems way too confrontational.



What if someone just happened to have a flame thrower or a can of Raid Ninja Bug Spray?

I'll be coming to the track again. I'll take the high road and take a different path. However, if I - in my act of good faith - still manage to piss you off, I'll be ready.

You have no fucking idea how much I like running wind sprints. I'll punch in in your bug face so hard your offspring's offspring will feel it.