A Series of Unfortunate Events

I forgot to screw on the cap to my water bottle - not really a big deal unless you use the bottle for its intended purpose.

But I'm a thirsty dude.


And for that I officially have phantom piss pants syndrome. It happens to all of us from time to time.

You can also get it from public restrooms that seem to always have a lake parked right at the edge of the counter. Yeah, it leaves a horizontal line of phantom piss like if you urinated like a sprinkler.

And who doesn't pee like a sprinkler?

On top of this condition, I have this killer sore throat. Imagine drinking a class of nuclear acid with shards of glass in it. It's totally what I get for not sleeping on Monday night.

I have no complaints though. I don't ask, "Why me?" when good shit falls my way. So why should I do it when life kind of starts sucking?

Besides, I have cough medicine, and my crotch is drying as we speak.

Mazal tov!